how can you make prison so undesirable that one.
would never won,t to return?
today young man feel it,s.
I was astonished to learn a few years ago on NPR that prison is big for private investors. I thought they were all government owned.
I can say, because I have a young sister that was in prison at 18 or 19, when they are young and they get out, they know how to do absolutely nothing. It's complete arrested development. It's very strange.
this is new to me,im a little nervous, its for me and than later for family, wifey does not like the idea because its not the elders,and she doesnt want the org to look bad.
she more worried about them than our marriage ,im only doing this for us and my sanity,whats you guys thoughts?.
Oh, that's great news! Everyone needs someone to talk to. I wold only add that if you think your wife might ever be inclined to go with you, tell her the therapist agrees not to discuss anything JW related. (Tell your therapist. Make sure he/she understands your wife's fears.) Therapists are trained to draw people out. Most JW's hurt. They have pain, and they eventually want to talk about it. After a couple sessions of counseling together,it will come up. By then, perhaps she will trust the therapist enough to discuss it. If nothing else, you now have an outlet. You have someone to share your burdens with. It can be a very liberating thing. But the first couple sessions can be very difficult having to go into your past, etc. please give it a few weeks. It does get much better and can be very, very healing.
Good luck!
after reading flipper's thread about steve hassan's latest book it got me thinking about the stuff on phobias he mentions.
apparently cults deliberately instill phobias in you to cut you off from the real world.. we were constantly being told if we were struggling it showed we were doing everything right because the devil only persecutes those that are doing well.
if i ever said to anyone i am thinking of taking up a hobby or doing some exercise or (very rarely) planning a holiday they were instantly critical.
Yes. It makes a lot of sense. I've only "been out" for a couple of months, but I'm seeing that I think I'm going to need some help from a trained individual to be able to live up to my potential. I was a born in. You're right. That stuff does stay in your head when you're taught it at such a young age. I am always waiting for the "other shoe to drop" so to speak. I don't have advice, but I can tell you that it's not just you. You're not alone.
my wife ask me if im going to make up the assmebly, i reminder her that i in clean conscience can not go anymore,as soon as the word anymore came out the tears started flooding.
it hurts me to see her like this.
i talked to her calm trying to explain why i cant worship with doctrine that is so clearly wrong.
I feel so badly for everyone who is going through this. I couldn't honestly go back to a meeting or assembly for anyone or anything. I would set there and go nuts. I don't believe I've seen anyone mention marriage therapy. Just a thought. Let her pick the therapist. Most likely the therapist will feel that she needs to let you make your own decision about religion and beliefs, but if you have a good therapist, he/she could be very helpful in allowing your wife to understand your point. That's a thing she probably isn't likely to do on her own it seems. I wouldn't be on here today if my psychologist hadn't asked me if I really felt that Jehovah's Witnesses had the only "true" religion. Of course, she did not ask me this for sometime, but I know therapy can open minds. Maybe she would take the suggestion well if you told her you wanted to learn to communicate better, be a better husband (and all that). It's just a thought. God knows I'm no good at marriage myself.
Also, I can say undoubtly that comforting words are great, but flowers and small gifts (and the like) would go a long way in backing up what you say. Not everyday or anything, but as much as some women say they don't want these things, we do. It's just another way to assure her of your love. And she is lucky. A lot of men I know wouldn't bother trying. You're a good guy.
i'm really struggling with this.
i gave up smoking a few months back and have put on around 20lbs already.
i've gone up another dress size and i wasn't slim to begin with!
My father is very obese. He had open heart surgery this past summer. His surgeon is one of the best in the country. I cannot recall his name. He does have a book out called, "Salt Kills". He feels that salt intake contributes to heart disease just as much as other factors. He told me my father needs to eat more whole grains (like oatmeal), vegetables, nuts, fish, fruit. Basically, I guess, whole foods. I asked him if dad should do Weight Watchers. He said if my father changed to a heart healty diet that the weight would come off on its own. Anyway...
Also, I've had a lot of friends that do or have done Weight Watchers with success. Although you are on a somewhat limited diet, you don't really feel denied. I did it myself for 9 weeks. I lost 11 pounds, but I didn't realize that my thyroid wasn't functioning properly. But I still lost weight, which is pretty amazing.
Also, have your thyroid checked if you haven't. If your (TSH?) levels are off even just a little it can make a huge difference. I gained 60 pounds. I did get it off but I could not have until I was put on Synthroid
If these fail: Divorce (just kidding. I tend to eat less under stress) lol!
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Hi new22day. I'm glad you're here. The people here will and do understand your situation. I'm so sorry you're heart was broken. I'm dealing with that a bit myself. I really feel that he did love you. There is NOTHING wrong with you. Captain Obvious is defiantly right about him being under cult mind control. There are some good books that can explain what is going on in his life and in his mind. I'm fairly new here so maybe others could suggest which books might help. But only read these so you can understand better why this happened. Please don't read them with a view of 'getting him back' which you don't want anyway. Also, the fact that you and he were having sex while he was getting reinstated speaks volumes about him as a person. You are better off. It's so hard to end things for good. I'm dealing with that too. But don't be his doormat for him to use when he's horny or lonely. You only have one heart. Right now you need to protect it at all costs while it heals.
If you have doctrinal questions about JWs there are many kind and intelligent people here who can help. But if you just want to talk about the way you feel or your heartache just pm me. I'd be happy to listen anytime.
hi im from the uk im 42 years old , i was brought up as a witness from birth to 12 years of age i left the meetings with my parents ,.
i had a wild youth was a bit of a rebel involving alcohol ,drugs , heavy metal and motorcycles , i was thrown out of home at 17 my sister was 14. and was discarded as my parents remarried and neither of there new partners wanted us (baggage) , anyway by the time i was married and 21. somebody spiked my pizza with lsd (cant remember the flavour ) and for the next 3 days i thought the world was ending , i called my dad and rambled some stuff to him ( cant remember exactly but the world was ending in my head) a little while later i got a witness call briefly , i found out where he lived and went and asked him for a bible , he suggested i have a bible study me and the wife took the offer and so it began again , i was baptised in 93 and went from strength to strength in the truth , aux pioneering , volunteered for everything , talks , cleaning , meeting parts etc was soon appointed and moved on giving public talks , assembly parts , shepparding calls etc , then in 1997 my wife fell down a kerb and damaged her cruciate ligaments several operations later and disabled ( by the way the brothers /sisters in the cong were great at this point ) my wife began to act odd 1n 1999 she tried to take her own life and over the next several years took 26 overdoses and spent much of her life in phychiatrict hospital in 2001 she was bi polar disorder type rapid cycling (not the common oh i feel a bit low type bi polar but the full blown rollercoaster ride bi polar) .
the thing that struck me was i began to feel like a leper and despite a couple of close friends nobody in the cong or on the circuit( long time friends) seemed to care , i brouht up the kids on my own visiting my wife in hospital and caring for her at home , i felt so alone , when i used to take the kids to the meeting / assembly on my own i just got tutts and sad headshakes "she not come" ?
Welcome, Rickisteel. I think it's amazing that you're still with your wife. Most men would have ran away. I hope everyone is well today.
today's study picks on the most vulnerable among us.
the mentally ill. .
the watchtower apparently hasn't learned that depression and mental illness are that a medical condition.
When in the hospital, we had many group therapy sessions, but one thing stands out in my mind. The counselor told us we were all there because we have a chemical imbalance plus some type of major additional stressor(s). I took it to mean that a person can have the stressor and without a chemical imbalance, likely get through it ok. It's a combination of both that often causes major depression. I know it's a simple statement, but it made me understand things better.
Depression is the main cause of suicide. Obviously, right? Anxiety is number two. When I think about that I think about how I made myself go to meetings even though it was, in hindsight, the worse thing to do. It is for many people. I had many panic attacks at the kh. One person told me not to be scared. The brothers and sisters there were all my "friends". Funny thing. I always thought they were staring at me and judging me in my mind when these attacks occurred. I think now I have reason to believe many were. (Not everyone, of course.)
a woman in milwaukee bought a lithograph she liked at the local goodwill for $9.00, turns out it was an alexander calder print worth $9000.00!.
my wife lives for this stuff, this story will keep her going for another decade lol.
her big finds have been a tiffany sterling silver piece, a tony bennett signed lithograph (my favorite), and the cream of the crop a signed 4 piece lithograph by picasso contemporary bernard buffet she found and paid $12.00 for..
Metaspy, that is so funny!
There have had so many great finds. Nothing in the thousands but not too shabby. Most recently I entered a shop that didn't really have much of interest until I looked at this bottom shelf. The most wonderful designer vintage silk scarves were there. Heaven! I took them up front and tried to buy them all, but what I had actually walked into was a food/clothing pantry. I had no idea. Lol! The mean old lady behind the counter would only let me get two. She said there had to be enough for everyone. I tried every form of bribery possible. Nope. So I took my two scarves and am going back this week for two more! I'm donating $. Don't worry. But for those who enjoy fashion, I got a like new Christian Dior and an Ostinelli. Probably $100-200 each new.
my favourite post on jwn is the new posts.
so i'd like to start a 'welcome' list of all the new people who have joined in the last 6 months, i cant remember all of them so can you add anyone you know of?
welcome to....... roostermcdooster.